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🎧 Listen: Session 418 — Navigating Flight Anxiety · ▶️ Watch: TBG on YouTube
You finally booked the trip. The girls’ getaway, the destination wedding, the long-overdue visit home, the solo escape you promised yourself. And then, somewhere between confirming your seat and packing your bag, a familiar knot shows up in your stomach. The “what ifs” start whispering. By the time you’re standing at the gate, your heart is racing and you’re wondering if you can really do this.
If that sounds like you, take a deep breath, sis. You are not being dramatic, and you are definitely not alone. Flight anxiety is incredibly common, and lately it can feel even bigger thanks to the steady stream of unsettling news headlines about air travel. In Session 418 of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, Dr. Joy is joined by Dr. Angela Neal-Barnett, a nationally recognized psychologist and one of the leading experts on anxiety among Black women, to talk through how to move through flight anxiety so it doesn’t steal the joy out of your travel plans.
Why Flying Lights Up Your Nervous System
Here’s the thing about anxiety: it’s not a character flaw. It’s your body’s alarm system doing exactly what it was designed to do, just at a moment when there’s no actual danger. When you board a plane, you’re handing over control to a pilot you’ll never meet, in an environment you can’t change, at an altitude your brain wasn’t built to make peace with. Add in turbulence you can’t predict and headlines you can’t unsee, and it makes complete sense that your nervous system goes on high alert.
That racing heart, the shallow breathing, the sweaty palms, the catastrophic thoughts spiraling toward worst-case scenarios — those are physical symptoms of anxiety, not evidence that something is actually wrong. Naming what’s happening (“this is my anxiety, not a real emergency”) is a small but powerful first step. You can’t talk yourself out of a feeling you won’t first acknowledge.
Preparing Before You Ever Reach the Airport
So much of managing flight anxiety happens long before you reach the gate. Anxiety thrives on the unknown, so giving your brain a sense of predictability can take the edge off.
A few things that tend to help:
- Get familiar with the process. Learn what the typical sounds of a flight mean — the landing gear, the engine shifts, the bells. Turbulence, while uncomfortable, is a normal part of flying and not a sign of danger. Knowing this in advance gives your rational brain something to hold onto when your anxious brain starts spinning.
- Plan for comfort. Pack the things that soothe you: a cozy hoodie, a downloaded playlist or comfort show, snacks, your favorite scent. Choose a seat that feels best for your body, whether that’s the aisle for a sense of freedom or the window for something to focus on.
- Practice calming tools ahead of time. Deep breathing, grounding exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation work best when they’re already familiar. Try the 4-7-8 breath (inhale for four, hold for seven, exhale for eight) on the ground so it’s second nature in the air.
- Limit the doom-scroll. Constant exposure to alarming aviation news feeds the anxiety. Give yourself permission to log off before your trip.
Coping in the Moment
Even with all the prep in the world, anxiety can still show up mid-flight. That’s okay. The goal isn’t to never feel anxious; it’s to keep moving even when you do.
Grounding techniques can bring you back to the present when your mind races toward the future. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method: name five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can touch, two you can smell, one you can taste. Hold something with texture in your hands. Press your feet firmly into the floor and remind yourself that you are safe in this moment.
Affirmations matter, too. Try repeating something true and steadying: I am safe. I have done hard things before. This feeling will pass. And remember that the flight crew does this every single day; you are surrounded by trained professionals whose entire job is your safety.
When It Might Be Time for More Support
For some of us, flight anxiety is a manageable discomfort. For others, it’s significant enough to keep us grounded, literally avoiding trips, family events, and opportunities we deserve to enjoy. There is no shame in either experience.
If your anxiety around flying is intense, persistent, or keeping you from living the full life you want, that’s worth bringing to a therapist. Approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy and gradual exposure have strong track records for helping people reclaim the skies. Talking with your doctor about your options is also a completely valid choice. Seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s a sign that you take your own joy and freedom seriously.
You Deserve to Go and Enjoy It
The world is wide, and you deserve to experience it. Flight anxiety is real, but it doesn’t have to be the deciding vote on whether you say yes to the trip, the reunion, the celebration, or the rest. With preparation, the right tools, and a little self-compassion, you can make it to your destination — and actually enjoy the journey there.
This conversation goes so much deeper, and Dr. Neal-Barnett offers wisdom that’s especially attuned to how anxiety shows up for Black women. Press play on Session 418 of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast wherever you listen, and head to your next adventure feeling a little more grounded. Safe travels, sis.
