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Why See, Black Feminist Sex Comedy, “ME TIME”

ME TIME short film trailer from Iyabo Boyd on Vimeo.

ME TIME stems from a very personal place: After years of lackluster sex and ignoring the disconnect I felt with my body, I faced an inner truth head-on: the sexual trauma I had experienced in my twenties had done a number on me and I needed to do something about it.

It started as a New Year’s resolution: The plan was to masturbate every day to get in touch with what scared me; what was holding me back from the transcendent experience that I knew I deserved? Was it something physical I didn’t understand or was it about letting go and trusting myself? The life-affirming breakthrough moment that I eventually experienced is what inspired me to write ME TIME.
This film represents one chapter in my lifelong journey and offers all women the opportunity to tap into their own sexual challenges and opportunities. It’s a call for us to center the enormous depth of our inner selves, and to dig through the tough moments to find the joy, self-actualization, and power within.

“Me Time” is a short video where we get introduced to Deb.

Deb has just come home from work and while resting on the bed we get introduced to three personas projections of deb. Deb the party girl, conservative and the soulful healer, each joins her in an array of conversations regarding men,  and various events.

One conversation they unanimously agree on, is the need for self-care (masturbation)after weeks of neglect and to relieve some stress.

The journey then takes on a realistic journey of Deb being distracted by the voices in her head(that are on her bed) and being unable to accomplish full arousal and orgasm. Not until Deb reconnects to her body and quiet the voices and become guided by her mindfulness is she able to reach arousal and come to orgasm(completion). We then see after Deb gets some relief she is shown to be well-rested and mind so clear she even solves the crossword puzzle she was stuck on earlier.

This small glimpse into Deb’s life and head is one of the most common conversations women have about self-pleasure.

Masturbation or self-pleasure is a forbidden or taboo topic for some and a self-maintenance tool for others.

Masturbation is the act of touching yourself sexually, that is, arousing and pleasurable that can lead to climax (orgasm). Orgasms vary from different people. Many describe it as an intense sensation or release with waves of Pleasurable feelings that can be accompanied by contractions or deep throbbing sensations.

The discussion of self-pleasure sometimes can promote anxiety or blushing based on comfort level and education. The major concept is to understand and learn your body and arousal patterns.  You can keep this knowledge for yourself or share with your partner.

Masturbation has Pleasurable benefits as well as health benefits.

Masturbation can lead to orgasms that are said to assist with lowering your blood pressure, relieving stress, strengthening your pelvic floor and maintaining your sexual health.

Unfortunately, sometimes we are faced with different learned thoughts on masturbation that can provoke anxiety, disconnection or even performance anxiety for men and women.

Religious beliefs, lack of sex education or past negative narratives on touching ourselves are a few of the challenges we may encounter in self-pleasuring avoidance.

Masturbation is not for everybody but the key is to know your body.

If you find yourself becoming anxious when sexual topics are discussed, look for possible roots of this learned response.

Challenge your negative past thoughts with your current ones. Develop an understanding of the many functions of your body and sexual, reproductive system.

Invest in equipping yourself with knowledge and education by reading books or blogs on the subject.

Take your time and be gentle with yourself.  If you feel that you want to learn your body but can’t bring yourself to touching yourself invite your partner to assist you.

If possible talk to your medical provider or even a pelvic floor specialist for education and insight.

One thing Deb showed us at the end of the day she did what was best for her and you should too.


Discover the transformative power of healing in community in Dr. Joy Harden Bradford’s debut book, Sisterhood Heals. Order your copy now!

Sisterhood heals
Order Now

Looking for the UK Edition?
Order here

Discover the transformative power of healing in community in Dr. Joy Harden Bradford’s debut book, Sisterhood Heals. Order your copy now!

Looking for the UK Edition? Order here